A slow talker and a big thinker, Ace Galaksi, always considers every answer to all of life’s questions, no matter how bizarre, unreasonable or downright impossible. He’s the best agent at CSIS, partly because of his extraordinary sleuthing abilities and partly because he’s the only one who actually spends the whole day working. When working on a case, Ace will spend an inordinate amount of time knitting because when he’s knitting, he stops thinking and when he’s not thinking, answers to questions he’s not thinking about pop into his empty head.
For the most part, the Chief wishes he’d listened to his feet and started a business providing barefoot guided walkabouts with aborigines through Australian deserts. Whenever anything falls outside of the accepted mainstream he immediately feels the need to get his feet out of his shoes. Even though he never listens to more than a sentence of what anyone says, he almost always ends up out of his shoes when he talks to Ace.
As descendents of Konstantin Stanislavski, everyone in Yasmeen’s family aspires to do something connected with the stage. All except Yasmeen. All she’s ever been interested in is dinosaurs. As a result of the endless taunting she endured throughout her childhood for wanting to be a scientist, Yasmeen does everything she can to stay out of ridicule’s way. The fact that Yasmeen has discovered the first dinosaur to sport a full plume of feathers is enough to get her into the history books. The other fact, that the dinosaur accessorized itself with a leather necklace containing what appears to be a tennis ball, puts Yasmeen’s whole discovery in jeopardy of being labeled a hoax and sets her up for endless taunts from her family.
GBOD (Editor-in-chief at the Giant Book of Destiny)
With so much discord in every quadrant of existence, the editor-in-chief is concerned destiny is getting a bad reputation. She sends a directive to the PR department instructing them to find a way to help sentient and non sentient beings everywhere understand that their seemingly incomprehensible lives are actually part of a thought out, meaningful plan. She’s a straightforward, all business individual who’s not adverse to using her giant eraser to revise someone’s destiny in the Giant Book.
Aid (At the Giant Book of Destiny)
Personal assistant to the editor-in-chief, the aid is that individual in every office who actually knows everything that’s going on. He’s the grease that keeps the wheels of the organization turning.
Fact Checker Fran (At the Giant Book of Destiny)
Fran carries around several files full of facts everywhere she goes. She tries her best to stay on top of her job, but there are a lot of facts to keep track of across all of destiny so she’s nervous and distracted most of the time.
Akhenaten Jones The most aspiring geologist of his generation, it was Akhenaten Jones who discovered the Precambrian rock fossilized with tap shoes during his first expedition to the North West Territories. His discovery led to ridicule and disgrace in the community. The only solace he has is in playing video games.
Boys in the CSIS lab – twin brothers Steven and Stefan
Steven stuck in the pre-politically correct days of yore, always dresses in First Nations tradition.
Stefan always dresses like a cowboy. According to their parents, the boys never got out of the cowboys and Indians phase.
Against odds of over eighteen quintillion to one, the shape Traa Laa Laa Dancers are born into on their planet is exactly the same as human beings on Earth. The only difference is, instead of walking or running everywhere they go, they dance. To avoid being pegged as aliens when they visit Earth, they change shape. Tony Slizzingtorn is the first Traa Laa Laa Dancer to ever change shape. Prior to that he spent years being mortally afraid of lightning because he thought it wanted to strike him. Turned out he was right.
Karen Footglome is allowed to come on board the good ship hip-hop as a tourist because her daddy pretty much bankrolled the mission (to explore Earth during the Jurassic period). Although stay behind missions are reserved for specially trained biologists, anthropologists, and sociologists who studied for years to become adept at blending in with the indigenous life on a planet without interfering in any way, Karen manages to convince the captain to let her stay behind for a week. Ignoring all the rules about staying out of the way of history, she will change the course of evolution on the planet.
Alexander Van Djik
The most aspiring archeologist of his generation, Alexander is looking for the lost burial chamber in the great pyramid of Giza.
The most acclaimed master builder on Traa Laa Laa, Willy has lately taken to his bed with an intractable case of Is That All There Is. That’s a problem because as soon as it was announced that Willy Hornsloff was going to build the new landing port for visiting dignitaries, the old one became hideous in comparison with what he was going to create – and was torn down. The air space around Traa Laa Laa is getting crowded with visiting dignitaries who’ve got nowhere to land, so the planet’s leaders decide to send Willy somewhere that will give him fresh inspiration – planet Earth, ancient Egypt. Willy will not only get his mojo back, he’ll also leave something pretty big behind.
After finishing his reign as three time chaa chaa chaa champion, Frank became leader of Traa Laa Laa. The planet is quite accustomed to humming along on its own without supervision and Frank soon becomes bored, so he decides to mount a mission to another planet – Earth, and do something extraordinary there that will get him in the history books of both planets.